


almost, always

by berryblonde



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Hank is a good dad for his three sons, I had to okay, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 17:09:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16706545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berryblonde/pseuds/berryblonde
Summary: We all walk by hundreds, by thousands of people every day. How many opportunities, how many great friendships, relationships have we missed because we didn't notice anything outside of our own little bubble? But sometimes, all these little moments of almost and what could be lead up to something much bigger than a fleeting glance.





	almost, always

**Author's Note:**

> So i had this idea, and instead of working on Outliers I wrote this. Yeah. But i've been busy with the convin secret santa (I'll link it in the end notes if anyone is interested) and school, so this was a welcome surge in motivation. Hope you enjoy!

_Unlucky_. Gavin knew what it meant, knew the look of pity the word usually came with the moment people laid eyes on the ever-changing digits on his forearm, had learned to loathe the sympathetic expression followed by the same, artificial smile and cruelly kind words of encouragement.

 

“At least you have one!”

 

A sentence he now had heard more often than he could count.

Meeting your soulmate only once you’re on the wrong side of thirty-five was considered unfortunate by the majority of the population; most count-downs reached zero long before the age of twenty-five. Some, those who stood in Fortuna’s favor more than the common man or woman and especially Gavin Reed crossed paths with their destiny in very early years already.

 

Truth was, to Gavin it didn’t matter. Having a soulmate, not having one, when he would meet him. It was a mindset already beginning to form when the digits had turned to twenty-five.

 

He had learned to not let it bother him, to not let the oftentimes relentless teasing get to him, to avert his eyes whenever he happened to come across a newfound pair of soulmates by the time the counter showed twenty.

 

He had learned to fight down the spike of hurt, of longing, of anger whenever he walked by them, to replace it with apathy and redirect the burning feeling towards his career when just a little over seventeen years were left, the digits eliciting a cold snicker from him.

 

Had gone through the police academy watching couples meet and being torn apart, had gone through his first years of work witnessing a couple of soulmate counters meet zero the moment they faded, one half forever gone after an especially horrifying case.

 

Had made friends and enemies, had stepped on toes to get where he was today, had stuck to those who like him were still waiting for a day far in the future, or those poor, unfortunate souls without the chance of a bond as deep as having a soulmate.

 

Casual flings and short relationships had lined his path as he started climbing the ranks, more aggressively than it was probably good for him, never anything serious. Those without a counter didn’t want to be left for someone who was just waiting, those who had one often found theirs before he did.

 

When the count-down turned to single digit years he stopped caring altogether.

 

Gavin Reed had lived the majority of his life without a soulmate. He would be fine without one for the time being. Any urges could be satisfied with one-night stands, the faint ache in his chest whenever a happy couple walked by, when he received the invitation to Chris Miller’s wedding was willed away as if it had never been there.

 

His brother and his incredible luck were ignored, ties cut for reasons both related and not.

 

No, Gavin Reed didn’t need a soulmate, not when he did fine without one, not when he had seen what the loss of your most precious could do to a person.

 

Not even when there were only a few years left.

  


~

 

Connor Anderson had always been excited to meet his soulmate. From the moment he had understood what the black digits on his arm meant, even when he had come to know that it would take slightly longer for him than it would for other people.

 

Twenty-eight wasn’t a bad number, most people had said. Just, a little longer than average.

 

The comments, the sympathetic glances had never caused him to lose his optimism, counting down with the digits and meticulously calculating the exact date and time with all the abilities he had when the timer had shown all of twenty years to be left.

 

When the timer had gone under fourteen, when half the time had been up until the day he had been looking forward to as far as he remembered the realization came that his soulmate might not be the pretty girl his adoptive father was always talking about.

 

Hank had stood up and hugged him when he had suddenly blurted out what had been on his mind so much at the dinner table one day, the digits had showed a little less than thirteen years. The memory was still fond in his mind as he remembered his brothers’ reactions, one too young to fully understand, happily grinning at the familial display of affection, and his twin not surprised in the slightest, the soulmate-less Niles knowing him better than anyone else.

 

When the countdown had ticked down to ten, he had learned that there was no need to pity his brother, not when the marginally younger Niles was taking the first steps to achieve his dream-career and taking his first course in robotics.

 

With only six years left he had started noticing the excitement faltering, his usually unwavering optimism making way for desperation and longing, pangs of jealousy rushing through him whenever he heard about a pair of newly-found soulmates.

 

At five years left he had seen soulmates being brutally ripped apart for the first time as he frantically tried to stabilize a woman who had been in a car crash and lost too much blood already for there to be any real chance, the sirens of the ambulance as they drove to the nearest hospital ringing in his ears mixed with the echoes of the devastating screams and cries the woman’s wife had been unable to hold back at the scene of the accident.

 

The day afterwards he first felt envy towards his twin brother, smoking more cigarettes than he could count, trying to use the nicotine to get rid of the bitter taste the fresh memory left in his mouth.

 

The same evening, he made the decision to quit the old habit, not only for his sake but for the sake of his future soulmate.

 

A year later, his younger brother found his soulmate, the clock in his arm meeting zero at only seventeen. And Connor couldn’t have been jealous even if he tried, only hopeful for a day that wasn’t so far in the future anymore.

 

At only two years left, Connor caught a first glimpse of his future, unaware of that very fact to this time.

 

~

 

“Anderson, go and call a _fucking_ ambulance!” Gavin shouted, jumping and finally tackling down their runaway suspect, blood that wasn’t his covering the black digits on his arm, showing just a little over two years left. The injuries of the man their suspect had attacked when attempting to escape hadn’t appeared to be fatal, but they needed medical attention nevertheless, and Gavin wasn’t going to let his unwillingly assigned temporary partner stand there like a fucking idiot.

 

“What the hell do you think I’m doing, Reed? Geez, calm your fucking tits,” Anderson huffed, phone in hand already, slightly out of breath from chasing after Gavin chasing after the man he was still holding to the ground, a painful groan coming from below him when he pressed his knee into the man’s back, hindering his attempts to wriggle himself free of his iron grip.

 

Anderson’s voice in the background detailing their location started fading to white noise as Gavin fiddled for his handcuffs and began to list the man’s rights and what he was being charged with, not giving a single shit.

As soon as the sirens of the ambulance began to fill the scene Gavin got up, dragging the hissing suspect with him.

 

“You can handle this, right, old man?” He yelled towards Anderson, not even waiting for an answer before he began shoving his suspect towards their police car. Anderson could simply drive home with his son or some bullshit, the man had let slip on more than one occasion that the brat was a paramedic or some bullshit, one of them at least.

 

After his wife had died years ago, Gavin couldn’t even remember if he had been at the precinct already because fuck if he cared, the three boys seemed to be all the old man talked about outside of work. That, and his fucking dog.

 

There was a reason he and Gavin didn’t get along, the Detective thought as he unceremoniously tore open the door and shoved the cuffed man inside, aside from the fact that they were both hot-headed and stubborn and seemed to hold the opposite opinion every time no matter the issue.

 

Gavin was much more of a cat person anyways.

 

As he drove off he caught a glimpse of the scene he had just left, Anderson crouching next to the victim when the paramedics took over.

Somehow, soft-looking brown hair caught his eye before Gavin shook his head and grumbled something about needing a coffee.

 

~

 

The first thing Connor saw when he arrived at the crime scene was a police car driving off, a glimpse of a dark brown leather jacket coming to his attention before the car fully took the curve and disappeared, Markus nudging him with his elbow to revert his attention back to the task at hand.

 

This wasn’t by far the first time Hank had been the one to call them, not even the first time it had happened when Connor was on shift. But the closer his number got to zero, the more he dreaded each and every time he was called to a crime scene or an accident. The more he feared his soulmate might be the one on the floor, covered in blood, meeting his eyes for a second as their counters dropped to zero, just the moment the life drained from his destined.

 

Quickly grabbing their equipment he followed behind Markus, already pulling on the latex gloves he hated so much as he made his way towards the injured person lying next to where his adoptive father was crouching.

 

As he and Markus began their work, Connor tried to listen to Hank’s retellings of the events as best as he could while taking care of the man’s thankfully not life-threatening wounds, unable to help the small smile that came to his lips when the Lieutenant started cussing out his partner whose name Connor hadn’t quite caught for simply taking off with their suspect and their car under the guise of getting to the interrogation faster and leaving him to deal with the mess at the scene.

 

“Alright, can you stand, Mr. Ericson?” Connor heard Markus ask once the patient’s wound had stopped bleeding before each of them slung one of the man’s arms over their shoulders as they helped him up towards the ambulance, and Connor couldn’t help but notice the string of zeros on his forearm, a stark contrast to the two years still left on his own.

 

The sympathetic glance Markus threw him didn’t go unnoticed as they slowly walked back to the ambulance, lending as much support to their patient as they could.

 

Markus himself had been one of the very rare ones with two numbers on his arm, something they had often joked about between jobs. Connor could only hope the fond look that he now often found in his colleague’s eyes when he talked about his boyfriend and girlfriend would be on his face too one day.

 

He thought of dark brown leather as he helped the injured man into the ambulance.

 

~

 

Sitting in the ER at two am was decidedly not how Gavin had wanted to spend his fucking Christmas, his head spinning so much he couldn’t even focus on the nine months his forearm was still showing.

 

Maybe going out drinking on Christmas Eve with his brother hadn’t been a good idea, he thought as he looked over to where Elijah was sitting next to him, holding his arm. They had wanted to rekindle their relationship for a while now but getting into a bar fight together was probably the worst way this could have gone.

 

At least the knowledge that Elijah would receive a stern talking to from his wife once she got wind of what had gone down, important conference or not, instilled an almost sadistic sense of satisfaction in Gavin, hiding the pang he felt at the reminder that so far, he had no one who would be mad at him for doing something so stupid.

 

The energetic buzzing around the ER, nurses running from one OR to another, handling patients, EMTs bringing in new ones only served to make his headache worse as he heard his brother snicker.

 

Maybe they should have called the paramedics, he considered for a brief moment as he turned his head to look at the other, despite the stinging pain that flared up where the beer bottle someone had smashed over his face had cut him.

 

Elijah’s arm was angled in a way no normal arm should be angled, yet Gavin couldn’t help but snort, suddenly feeling like he was a teenager all over again. They stayed silent, but the amusement and warmth Gavin found in his brother’s eyes made him hopeful that maybe this could be a turning point for them.

 

When they were finally called up, he rushed past one of the paramedics. A lightly freckled profile was all he saw before Elijah dragged him away.

 

~

  


Christmas Eve was always one of the most hectic nights. Yet, year after year, Connor took on the shift instead of celebrating with friends and family, if only to allow people like Markus to spend it with their soulmates.

 

Even if that meant spending his night lecturing idiots for setting themselves on fire or suffering burns from improper use of candles and making sure pass-out drunk party guests didn’t choke on the own vomit.

 

The fact that he shared a shift with Daniel was one of the few things that made it bearable, the man, who was coincidentally the older brother of Simon, who was the boyfriend of Markus, always had a snarky joke on his lips or one or the other trick to entertain himself and Connor.

 

The first two digits on Connor’s arm had stopped changing, had set themselves to zero. Nine months left. And Connor was as excited as ever, just as he had been when he was younger.

 

There was still the same anxiety over meeting his soulmate while on the job, yes, of his soulmate dying before he had the chance to save them, to get to know them. But he had gotten good at shutting these thoughts out and getting back his optimism, smiling at Daniel as his eyes flickered to the number on the other’s arm.

 

Daniel hadn’t met his soulmate yet either, and they had first bonded over the fact that unlike all of their other colleagues they were still alone.

_Not a lot longer, though_ , Connor thought and his smile widened as he and Daniel began making their way out of the ER, back to their ambulance where a bunch of poker cards and a lot of embarrassing stories about Simon, Markus and their girlfriend North were waiting for them.

 

Just as they left, Connor couldn’t help but notice a bloodied face, seconds before the man was dragged away by someone else.

  


~

 

_Get it together, Reed, there’s no fucking reason to be nervous._ Maybe if the digits on his arm weren’t telling him that it would be less than two weeks now before he met his soulmate, maybe then he could calm the fuck down.

 

Tina had already thrown him more than one suspicious glance as he paced through the bullpen, pulling nervously at the collar of his shirt.

 

A month ago, he had decided to at least try and quit smoking, and not only the nervousness but also the continued withdrawal of a habit that had been with him for the better half of his life now were driving him insane.

Gavin desperately wished back his apathetic attitude regarding the whole soulmates thing, much to Tina’s amusement. Her and Chris were probably the best friends, and only friends he had the precinct and they had found his change of heart incredibly funny.

 

The past few weeks now, whenever he had seen someone with light freckles and brown hair he had perked up, not knowing why. It had been a weird sort of feeling that he needed to be on the lookout for those things.

 

With a resigned sigh, Gavin decided that he wouldn’t get any work done today.

 

He almost didn’t notice brown doe eyes glancing over him for just a second from one of the cars there when he walked across the parking lot.

 

~

 

Connor couldn’t help but nervously tap his fingers on the steering wheel of his father’s car, impatiently waiting for him to finish his work and show up.

 

The count-down on his arm was nearing zero, and he couldn’t decide whether he was scared or elated about the fact that it would be a mere two weeks until he met the person he was destined to be with.

 

All the waiting, all the anticipating would have an end, something Connor had been sometimes more sometimes less optimistically looking for all his life would be _there_ , tangible and real.

 

But sometimes, when there was nothing to occupy his racing mind, he started worrying. What if the digits were wrong? What if he made a mistake that day? What if he didn’t get along with his soulmate?

 

_There was only one way to find out_ , Connor thought with a sigh as he kept watching the entrance to the precinct, almost involuntarily searching for a dark leather jacket and a scarred face.

 

Where those images came from, why he was so sure they belonged to his soulmate he didn’t know, not even as he caught a glimpse of a mop of dark brown hair as a man hurried across the parking lot, not realizing that he too had been noticed.

 

~

 

Gavin almost tripped as he ran chasing after the perpetrator, the digits on his arm slowly counting down with only around twenty minutes left.

He barely noticed the ever-changing digits as he gained speed, right shoulder throbbing from where he had been shot, teeth gritted in pain, Anderson’s voice shouting after him, yelling at him to catch the fucking guy and for the love of god, he shouldn’t keel over while the other might have to fill in paperwork for that bullshit.

 

_Why do my cases with the old prick always end like this?_ Gavin thought for a moment before he threw himself at their suspect.

  


~

 

When Hank had called, Connor had been staring at the digits on his arm, watching them change, closer to zero by the second.

 

_Less than fifteen minutes._

 

His heart had skipped a beat when his adoptive father had told them about someone being shot, Connor’s last hopes of having a normal, peaceful meeting with his soulmate crushed as they began racing towards the address Hank had given them, Markus next to him, watching him with concerned eyes.

 

Connor smiled, and desperately wished that he had gotten the day off when he had asked for it, blood rushing in his ears, hands shaking nervously.

  


~

 

When Anderson caught up to him, his number had just slipped below twelve. It was only when his partner reached out his hand towards him to help him get back up from where he had been tackling the suspect that the pain in his right shoulder came back with full force.

 

“I already called the 911,” Anderson told him.

  


~

 

His count-down showed less than five minutes when they neared their location, Markus throwing a pair of latex gloves at Connor. The stench made Connor feel almost sick, but he couldn’t back out now, couldn’t afford to be unconcentrated now.

 

With shaky hands, he pulled them on, and wished for his soulmate to be okay.

 

~

 

Gavin didn’t even notice his counter slipping below two minutes as he applied as much pressure as he could to the wound on his shoulder, Anderson cuffing their perp.

 

~

 

He would make sure his soulmate was safe.

 

With nothing else on his mind, Connor grabbed their equipment and ran towards his frantically waving adoptive father.

 

Less than a minute.

 

~

 

White hot pain shot up Gavin’s arm. He could hear steps behind him.

 

~

 

Their patient appeared to be a man, sitting on the ground, cussing as he pressed down on his shoulder.

 

~

 

The steps came to a halt. Gavin turned around.

 

~

 

Leather creaked as the man in front of him turned.

 

~

 

His timer reached zero.

 

~

 

His timer reached zero.

 

~

 

“Hello, my name is Connor Anderson, and.. I’m your paramedic and soulmate.” The voice was careful, but determined.

 

Nothing could have prepared Gavin for that beautiful smile.

 

~

 

“I’m Gavin Reed, and if you fix that hole in my shoulder I’m hoping to be your soulmate for a long ass time.” The voice was energetic, slightly strained from the pain.

 

Nothing could have prepared Connor for the warmth in those gray eyes.

 

~

 

For a second, they stared at each other, captivated, overwhelmed, hearts pounding in their chests. Then, Connor kneeled down and got to work.

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to drop by and talk to me on tumblr [@berry--blonde](https://berry--blonde.tumblr.com), join the [convin discord server](https://discord.gg/93AUA7B) or check out the [Convin Secret Santa](https://convin-secret-santa-2018.tumblr.com/post/180081937781/convin-secret-santa-2018-we-decided-to-host-a)! I'm always happy to hear from you guys <3


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